golden

Today was the middle of a long, busy and stressful week. And at the end of this long and busy day, I found myself with many things to get done and not enough time to complete them all. As I drove home from my study group towards Kinko's to get some test prep materials done, I became rather discouraged and frustrated knowing how many important things will have gone un-done at the end of the day. I arrived at Kinko's only to find they were out of the materials needed. I was then referred to a Kinko's across town. So I went, frustration and discouragement increasing. I arrived and was both relieved and happy they had what I needed, and also happy they validated my parking stub. On my way out of the parking lot, I approached the gate and booth and was met with a very friendly man. He had a significant limp in his walk, but it in no way seemed to negatively effect his attitude. As he raised the arm for me, a man was crossing the sidewalk in front of the exit driveway. I paused to let him pass before turning into the street to go home. He was probably homeless, and clearly mentally unstable as demonstrated by some odd behavior. My window was still down, and I could clearly hear all that was going on outside. And from behind, I heard the kindly parking attendant speak up and ask "Are you ok, sir?"
There are many homeless in this city, and is the case in all cities, plenty of sketchy characters. My typical reaction when I encounter such characters is one of protection. My first impulse is concern for my own safety and welfare. Perhaps over the years of living on my way, and looking out for myself it has become a reflex in order to survive to immediately think about keeping myself safe (this is probably compounded with being a girl and at higher risk for being a target of crime), or how to best get through a situation myself, or to solve a problem on my own etc. When it comes to cases such as these involving those less fortunate, I struggle. I am torn between the guilt over not being charitable and not putting myself into a potentially dangerous situation (not to mention the likelihood that any monetary donation will likely be put to use to feed a drug habit more than hunger). Mostly I ignore and avoid.
What a small thing, that required very little effort! And even though the reaction of the man who was crossing in front of my car, was merely to grunt and dismiss his comment with a wave, it didn't matter. The humble gentleman with problems of his own, took that brief moment to ask. No, this is not one of those stories where someone's small gesture had a big impact and "made" that person's day. But I definately took notice of how he had concern for another, no matter what thier circumstance in life, and no matter how little he may have been able to actually help. And to add to that, he addressed him very respectfully.
I will probably still put my safety first, but perhaps I can do it with a bit more recognition of and kindness towards others no matter who they are.
I drove away pensive.
(I must take a minute recognize Norman Rockwell for yet another very well done work of art fitting for my blog posts)